“Who else will marry you?”

An overview on the coercive and abusive tactics used when forcing victims into a marriage.

Forced marriage is when a person marries without fully and freely consenting.

This is because they have been coerced, deceived, or threatened. Such abuse deprives them of the ability to choose their own partner and make basic decisions about their lives.

Victims are under enormous pressure to conform to the demands and expectations of their parents, wider family, and community. The consequences, such as social ostracism and honour killings, of not doing so are immense. Read more about forced marriage and common motives.

Perpetrators use controlling and coercive methods to force them into marriage. This includes emotional and psychological, physical, sexual, and financial abuse.

Emotional or psychological abuse can be difficult to detect, so it’s vital to understand and recognise the subtle signs. Tactics used include criticising, gaslighting, bullying, shaming, scaring, punishing, and undermining the victim.

Cruel comments such as ‘who else will marry you?’, ‘you’ll bring shame on our family’, and ‘we’ll disown you’ are frequently reported.

The risks of emotional abuse may lead to serious consequences for the individual in terms of self-harming behaviour and their mental health in general.

Victims of forced marriage are also very often subjected to physical violence. Bruises, especially on the upper arms from being grabbed, or burn marks are typical injuries to watch out for. Forced pregnancy, rape, along with restrictions on freedom of dress and behaviour are also common.

Deception, false imprisonment, and kidnap are known tactics. Victims may be taken abroad for the purpose of forced marriage under the pretext of a holiday or to visit family. Some are left abroad for an extended length of time cut off from any support.

The Scottish Government website states: “Some women are virtually under 'house arrest' and may only be allowed out if accompanied by family members. They may also have their passports and legal documents removed.”

Other abusive methods used include harassment, threat of blackmail, intimidating conduct, such as threats to murder often linked to honour killings.

Financial abuse is common. It can take different forms with the victim’s spending being controlled or denied, or they may be pressed to take out a loan or obtain credit. Financial abuse will limit or stop the victim accessing essential things such as food, clothing, or transport.

All types of abuse will lead to those about to be forced into marriage feeling unable or scared to get help. If someone confides in you, it’s important to believe them and listen to them. Refrain from passing judgement or bombarding them with advice.

The Forced Marriage Unit offers support to any individual within the UK regardless of nationality. They also provide support and advice to professionals.

0207 008 0151: Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm

0207 008 1500: Global Response Centre (out of hours)

Email: FMU@fco.gov.uk

Contact us and schedule a call to speak to someone who has real lived experience of forced marriage.

Forced marriage is illegal in the UK and those found guilty of exerting physical, emotional or psychological pressure to marry will face the justice system.

Universal Truth is committed to stamping out this exploitative practice.