Lived experience: an asset or a liability?

When I reflect on my journey, as a lived experience leader campaigning to end forced marriage and honour-based violence, I often question if lived experience is an asset or a liability.

My path has been filled with numerous experiences, which have shaped the leader I am today. I’ve written about my observations as a lived experience leader previously.

As I continue navigating the reality of leadership, I find myself increasingly questioning whether society truly values leaders with lived experience or merely tolerates us for the sake of appearances.

Three real challenges I face are:

Fear and hostility

There’s a palpable fear of those who’ve transformed their lived experiences into sources of strength. We’re viewed as disruptors challenging the comfort of the status quo pushing for the changes so desperately needed. Established power structures prefer stability over the upheaval that often accompanies meaningful progress. This fear can manifest in subtle ways, such as exclusion from critical conversations or efforts to discredit our contributions. Our presence highlights shortcomings in systems, making us targets for those who resist change. It’s maddening when genuine efforts to create positive change are met with scepticism and hostility rather than support. Why is our strength seen as a threat rather than inspiration for progress?

Institutional resistance

Because established institutions tend to cling to familiar methods and procedures, it makes them resistant to new ideas. My work, rooted in first-hand experience, push for innovative and sometimes radical changes. For example, when advocating for policy reform for survivors of forced marriage I encounter resistance due to perceived complexities and cultural sensitivities. It’s infuriating to constantly hit a wall of bureaucratic red tape and see lived experiences dismissed as too radical or impractical. Gaining traction for policy reforms requires navigating these power dynamics delicately, building alliances, and continuously advocating for the recognition of lived experience as a crucial part of effective leadership. Why must we fight so hard just to be heard?

Tokenism

A significant concern is whether society genuinely values lived experience leaders or if we are simply used for tokenism. All too often, individuals from marginalised groups are given a seat at the table for the sake of appearances. It’s frustrating to realise inclusion is often more about optics than genuine change. How can we move beyond tokenism and gain genuine recognition for our contributions?

Despite these obstacles, I’m convinced lived experience is an asset in leadership. It is through our authenticity, empathy, and resilience that we can connect with those we support, truly understand their needs, and advocate for positive and meaningful change.

Overcoming these issues requires persistence, strategic direction, and finding allies who understand and support the need for change. Only then can society fully benefit from the rich insights and unique capabilities lived experience leaders offer.

To get in touch with me email nyla@universal-truth.co.uk

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Navigating conversations with survivors: what to do and what to avoid

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Ending Forced Marriage: Key recommendations from the Universal Truth Roundtable